


autocatharsis

by ashesburnt



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashesburnt/pseuds/ashesburnt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pearl cries a lot</p>
            </blockquote>





	autocatharsis

**Author's Note:**

> first fanfic!! please leave criticism ♡ 
> 
> im just tryin to project my own teenage angst onto a fictional character

Slowly, over time, she'd become accustomed to having him in her life.  
  
She had to stay loyal, after all. Who was she to question Rose Quartz?  
  
Every day, she'd see him, exchange some kind words, and force the sorrow to the back of her throat.  
  
It gets tough living with the boy who killed Rose Quartz.  
  
The shock never really wore off. Rose was one of the most ingenious strategists Pearl had ever witnessed; why throw her entire life away away to live with a _human_?  
  
But this was her choice. She was a brilliant woman, she had her reasons. This child would be a strong warrior in her place. This child could save the Crystal Gems better than Rose ever could.  
  
It was always going to be hard spending her days with the living reminder that Rose is gone.  
  
And it became harder not to hold a sense of spite over the human that killed her.  
  
Pearl was sure he didn't notice the hint of poison on her tongue when she couldn't choke back the words drifting through her mind. She was sure he didn't notice the blank stares, torn between sadness and spite and who knows what else.  
  
But of course he noticed when she broke.  
  
It's always hard living with the boy who killed Rose Quartz. But it's harder living with yourself when you could have saved her.  
  
Because she's gone.  
  
She's gone and it's all your fault.  
  
She's gone and she's never coming back.  
  
All because of this child who could never take the place of rose she should have saved rose why couldn't she save rose im sorry rose oh god oh god oh _god __oh god oh go _d oh god oh god_ **ohg od oh g** o d o h    g_  
  
☆  
  
You don't even know you're crying until it's over.  
  
But he noticed. Rose noticed her, like she always had.  
  
Pearl broke down far more than she was willing to admit. She just couldn't keep it in.  
  
But it's that moment of clarity, where your head clears and your emotions are drained, when you have a chance to learn.  
  
Slowly, in an almost cathartic way, she began to see through those little windows of clarity.  
  
He wasn't Rose. Of course he wasn't. Rose was gone.  
  
But he was better than she ever was. And slowly Pearl began to understand.


End file.
